Journal – May 14, 2002

I don’t understand. John told me yesterday that he thinks there is something wrong with the baby. I haven’t noticed anything. I am her mother; I’m the one at home with her all day. Wouldn’t I be the first to know if there was something wrong with her (Alexander Graham Bell Association for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, n.d.; Schow & Nerbonne, 2002)? I was so upset when he told me that, I couldn’t write in my journal for the first time since I was in high school (Alexander Graham Bell Association for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, n.d.; Alpiner & McCarthy, 1987) Nothing else in my life has ever kept me from writing in my journal at least every week. John thinks Lacey can’t hear. That is ridiculous. She coos and makes other noises; surely she wouldn’t be able to do that if she couldn’t hear (Alexander Graham Bell Association for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing, n.d.; Schow & Nerbonne, 2002). How could he even think such a thing (Rosenthal, 2002)? Doesn’t he realize how perfect she is? She is utterly adorable. Every time I go anywhere complete strangers stop me so they can look at her and talk to her. I can’t understand why John would try to find something wrong with this precious baby. I really don’t know what to do right now. I know I need to talk to someone about this, but who? I’ve never been around anyone who couldn’t hear before. I guess I will call Dr. Boyd’s office tomorrow so I can ask Sharon if she has any suggestions (Gordon-Langbein, n.d.). She has been a nurse for years, surely she can think of some way for me to find out how to have Lacey’s hearing checked. Hopefully I will be able to tell John he is wrong after I talk to Sharon.

Journal – May 25, 2002

I can’t believe this. How can this be happening? My daughter was perfectly healthy last week, and today I find out she can’t hear. How can I just be finding out she can’t hear (Schow & Nerbonne, 2002)? I called Sharon a couple of weeks ago just to be on the safe side. I wanted to make sure there was nothing wrong with Lacey. I really expected to hear Sharon tell me there was nothing to worry about, that I was just being a paranoid first-time mother. I was shocked that she seemed so worried about what I told her. I told her John was concerned that Lacey didn’t seem to hear what was going on around her. He said there had to be something wrong – she didn’t jump when she heard a loud sound. I personally just thought she was a very secure, happy child. She has two loving parents who dote on her, why would things like loud noises bother her? Sharon said I needed to bring Lacey in to see Dr. Boyd as soon as possible so I scheduled an appointment for the next day. Dr. Boyd looked her over, performed a couple of tests, and then told me I needed to take Lacey to an audiologist. He gave me the number of an audiologist in town. He told me to call them to schedule an appointment as soon as I got home. By this time I was getting a little scared. I asked him to be straight with me. I told him not to beat around the bush – to tell me what was going on. He said he thought there was a good possibility that Lacey really can’t hear. He said she needed to be diagnosed as soon as possible so she can receive treatment as soon as possible (Alpiner & McCarthy, 1987; Gordon-Langbein, n.d.). He told me to call the audiologist’s office, that they would be able to give me some more detailed information. I called, set up an appointment and we went today. John took the day off work so he could go with me. I can’t think about this anymore today. I just want to pretend nothing happened and that my life is just as ordinary as it was two weeks ago.

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